Family constellations or Systemic constellations
The Orders Of Love
Family constellation is a therapeutic approach based on the perspective that every individual is part of a bigger whole – a family system, rather than separate entities.
The family system operates under a number of love laws which are fundamental and are necessary to follow for love to be able to flow freely in the family. These laws include that we all have an equal right to belong and that we all have a given place in our family in relation to the specific order of age. Giving and receiving needs to be balanced and this looks differently in an intimate relationship between two adults or parent-child relationships. When these laws unconsciously are not taking into consideration or being respected, the system is by itself trying to recreate balance. This can show up like different forms of entanglements in the family system and recurring personal problems for the individuals.
Family constellations help us to become aware of and understand the nature of love so that we can move from blind to conscious love. Conscious love means that we respect and let others in our family carry their own destiny while accepting our own. To reconcile and find our genuine strength we need to find our right place in the family. When we let others carry their own destiny and give back to them what belongs to the family, their place in our hearts a healing force will flow with joy for us and our family.
This work is inspired by Bert Hellinger. From observing and studying thousands of family constellations/systemic constellations, both individuals and companies, from across the whole world he manages to map a system. His work has contributed to an enhanced understanding of the natural love laws and what makes it possible for love to flow in a family or organisation.
What happens in a family/systemic constellation?
Every session starts with an introduction of the method for any new participants. After listening to the problem the client wants to explore, we clarify the facts from relevant family members’ life that could be affecting the collective field. The facilitator guides the client to select people from the representatives, to represent the family members involved. Every representative is then placed out in the room in relation to each other. Here we create a living module for the clients original family that we can now work with.
The field that is created between the representatives are guiding them into movements and allows them to gain access to essential information from within the family system. The facilitator studies this information, brings light upon the destructive dynamic and supports healing of these dynamics by bringing in an excluded family member or through healing sentences between the family members.
As a client:
As a client you often don’t participate yourself in the constellation but have a person representing you. If this is the case you watch the constellation from the outside. You can also step into the constellation, in a later stage. The healing is happening without you needing to actively take part in the constellation, and by watching from the side you can often more easily take in what is happening within the constellation and the information the facilitator is bringing light on. The facilitator shares during the constellation what he perceives and might ask the representatives to tell each other healing sentences or move them around to recreate balance in the system according to the order of love-laws.
Read below about the experience that people who had constellations with Roger have had.
As a representative:
You do not need any previous experience to participate in a family constellation as a representative nor know the client personally.
If you get asked to represent a specific family member you have the opportunity to check in with yourself and answer yes or no. If you chose to participate you will be placed out on the floor and asked to slowly follow your impulses without talking. The facilitator might ask you during the constellation to share different healing sentences to other family members, place you somewhere else in the room or ask you how you feel.
To participate in a group as a representative is a deep experience. The constellation often reveals truths that can be relevant and touching in relation to your own life or family history. To be a representative can offer you deep reflections about yourself and your own life, sometimes it is as powerful as doing your own constellation.
Testimonials from Family Constellations with Roger
I have been participating in several Family Constellations with Roger, both as a client and representative, he has also been my personal coach for many months. His sessions have offered me deeper clarity and understanding followed by more compassion and love. I have had big shifts both personally, healed traumas, and within my family, especially in relation to my mother. Roger offers a powerful yet soft and playful space with a profound trust in the process, a great sharpness to see what is real and he always manages to bring the resources out into the light.
Thanks to my constellation with Roger I realized that I love my daughter very deeply and also her mother, even though we were not living together. Through this insight I reconnected with my daughter, after many years, and we now have a fantastic relationship! I have also found peace in the relationship with her mother. Roger work with a great compassion, allowance and sensitivity which made it very easy for me to open up and be authentic.
Roger supported me to clarify what my problem with anger was about and I understood the roots of it. It was a liberation for me to realize that the anger was not mine but that I was carrying it for someone else in my family. Now when I get angry I have more distance to it. Roger was very gentle and allowing during the constellation, I trusted him fully and experienced him with total trust in the process. It was a joyful journey.
”Att uppnå insikten om kärlekens lagar är vishet. Att följa dom med kärlek är ödmjukhet”